Monday, September 19, 2011

It's Like Waiting For That Boy To Call

You know, back in the dating days, when you went out with a boy that you really like, that you think is perfect, that you think you could easily fall in love with?  Yeah, that boy that ends the date with "I had a really good time.  I'll call you,"  and you wait and wait and wait for him to call?

You don't expect, but secretly hope, that he will call the next day.  Isn't that, like, dating protocol?  To wait at least one day before calling, so as to not look too anxious.  So if date night was Friday night, you think maybe Sunday he will call.  But then Sunday comes and the hours tortuously tick away without the phone ringing.  Okay, maybe he is really busy with church, or something.

Monday will definitely be the day he calls.  Because then he won't seem too anxious and he can make plans for the next weekend.  Plans with you, that is. Instead of going to the library to study, like you need to, you go home and wait by the phone (this is back in my college days, when we didn't have cell phones.)  Or, you keep checking your messages, emails and facebook page to see if there is any sort of anything you can remotely consider him contacting you.  Nope. Nothing.

Tuesday is going to be the day.  You just know it.  And it's the perfect day to call for a date on Friday.  You spend another day staring at your phone, checking any sort of messaging, waiting for his.  The refresh button on your computer is started to wear out. 

Wednesday you are just mad.  What is his problem?  If he said he was going to call, why hasn't he called?  How dare he promise to do that and then not.  Or, if he really didn't like you, and had a really bad time, and really didn't want to call you, then why did he say he had a good time and would call?  Maybe he should have ended it with a handshake and a thanks!

Thursday, well, maybe, just maybe, he left your phone number in his jeans pocket and washed them?  Maybe his phone got stolen?  Maybe his computer crashed?  Maybe his car crashed with him in it and he's too injured to get to a phone to call you and ask you out?  There has to be a darn good excuse why he hasn't called you.  And yet, with all the excuses, still no call.

By Friday, you just hate him.  You are spitting nails and saying his name laced with venom.  Fine!  If that's how it's going to be then you can move on.  You didn't like him that much anyway.  Besides, he chewed his pasta weird.  You'll show him  that you don't care.  (But still, secretly you wonder, why hasn't he called?)

Saturday is the day that your phone battery dies because you checked it so many times yesterday and you fell asleep staring at it, willing for it to ring, wishing for telepathy.  Since the weekend is practically over, you plug in the phone, trudge to the grocery store, eat a bag of oreo's and watch some really crappy made-for-tv movie about some heartbroken girl trying to move on some personal tragedy.  You could relate, since you were currently living in the middle of your own personal dating tragedy.  You check your phone one last time before going to bed at 11:30 pm, and there it is, one missed called.

And of course, it's him.  And of course, he called when you were home, watching the pathetic movie stuffing your face with shortening laced cookies.  And of course, it's too late to call him now.  Bummer.

Sometimes there's a perfectly good reason for his silence, like his mom was in the hospital and he was out of town, or his grandma died, or his phone really was stolen, or he really washed your number in his laundry.  Whatever the reason, you are so excited to hear from him.  And so what if he eats his pasta a little weird?

Or you never hear from him and need to get over it or get another man, whichever one comes easily or quickest.

My whole point to this (yes, there is a point to this) is waiting for that guy to call is like waiting for my book to be accepted for publication.  When you send in a manuscript, the general rule is that you will hear in 8-12 weeks.  I heard at 12 weeks that they had received my manuscript.  So that was good news.  Next it was going to be evaluated.  That's another 4-6 months.  After that you will either hear a "no thank you" or you won't hear anything until after it goes to the deciding committee (the final YES or NO).  All in all, it takes a little more time than I realized.  But if the outcome is a YES then theoretically I should be happy to wait for however long it takes.  But instant gratification is apparantly not in the business of book publishing. 

So I wait. 

I'm sure I'll hear any day now.  Maybe they're all on vacation?  Maybe they all got food poisoning after a catered company meeting?   Maybe the flu hit Utah early this year?  Maybe all their computers crashed, wiping out everything . . .

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